Do you remember when, as youngsters, we listened to proper records? They were produced on vinyl and span around on a record player. None of these rickety CD’s whose box breaks upon opening the damned thing for the first time!
Can you remember your very first record? I can – it was called Swing Low Sweet Chariot and I think it was by Dolly Parton. I can just hear the voice of the youth of today ‘Swing what? Dolly who?’
Can you remember going in to cafes and choosing a record on the Juke Box? Again, I can remember this, and I believe they still exist in some public houses (those who know me will support my claim that I never frequent such places!).
So, if I’m writing about the care and support of older members of our society, why am I harping on about records, vinyl, juke boxes and good old Dolly Parton?
The answer is quite simple. I am trying to explain why there is an obvious lack of respect, dignity and value directed to such elders. I mean, let’s think about it for a moment:
How did we make the transition from listening to music through a box we call a record player to a box we call a computer?
Well, it didn’t happen overnight, though to some of us it may well appear that way. In fact the transition was gradual, and it just happens to be that the same can be said about the way we treat the most vulnerable yet most valuable members of our society.
We can start by considering the family – values, traditions and lifestyles. I was a 60’s child and, unlike all my childhood friends and peers, I was an only one, as were my parents. So, even as an exception to the extended family, my nuclear upbringing still involved respecting my elders, my teachers, the village bobby and, of course my parents.
I think about what I did for amusement and entertainment, and it inevitably involved playing outside and mainly with a football. Television was something of a luxury and toys weren’t half as advanced as they are today. I remember having a Macano set, and not knowing what the Hell to do with it. Well, I wouldn’t would I? Even today, at the grand old age of 45, those around me get very nervous if I so much as look at a hammer or lift the bonnet of my car!
My point here is that I had to play out. The alternative was to stay inside and read a book or write a story, or poem. Things I loved, and still love, to do. I would always help the old lady across the road and remember one time being asked by someone to climb through her window so I could open her door and let her in – she had forgotten her key. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m sure there are some youngsters out there today that would do the very same.
My point is that modern day technology is taking people away from society. In the modern age, we can survive without even leaving the house! We can shop online; we can do our banking on line; we can work from home; we can use machines to solve problems from spelling a word to working out pi – not only do we not have to think much anymore, but we don’t have to interact with other human beings much either. So, what impact does this have on caring for older people?
It appears that, not only are we a society of ‘techno reliants’ we are also much more of a nuclear family these days. I believe this is one factor that leads to the lack of respect for older people; I believe another to be the fact our younger generation have no respect for themselves, or each other. We can see this from the behaviour of many school pupils, and the lack of respect for their teachers. I am sure there are numerous other factors too, but, for the sake of this paper and its limitations, I shall focus on respect.
If the younger generation is deprived of vital socialization in mainstream community, respect for the older generation cannot possibly develop outside the family circle. Youngsters are kept indoors more than they have ever been before. Some parents fear for the safety of their young ones, others may find it easier to provide kids with a computer, play station, X box and other solitary interactive gadgets – let’s face it, we adults are overworked, over-stretched and, quite frankly, knackered at the end of a long day!
So, whatever the reasons, we are where we are. Despite campaigns by the Department of Health, Age UK, Action on Elder Abuse, the Alzheimer’s Society and many other pressure groups, attitudes towards older members of society in the UK remains unacceptable.
The challenge to society is quite simple: change those attitudes to encourage respect. By facilitating relationships between youngsters and older members of society, we can achieve just that.
A very simple and straight forward strategy is to work with schools and local colleges; to establish befriending schemes, to have a real community presence and to participate in that community. By bringing together people of all ages we can close the generation gap, encourage mutual respect, help facilitate human interaction and pull youngsters away from their goggle boxes.
Give it a go. See what happens. Hopefully, the juke box will make a dramatic reappearance!

Dr Daniel J Nightingale
Head of Dementia Services
Care Homes for Older People